


Transition

by DireDesire



Series: BE: Aftermath - Aoba's stories after Koujaku's Bad End [2]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 10:51:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3607398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DireDesire/pseuds/DireDesire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A re-write of DMMd re:connect. Koujaku’s Bad Ending told from Aoba/Shirobas POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transition

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Koujaku Dramatical Murder Re:connect Bad End](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/105117) by Nitro+Chiral, translated by dramatical-rhyme. 



My shoes echo against the pristine floors. They’re too clean if you ask me…but soon enough, the scenery changes, and I’m heading downstairs. 

Cold, gray…this is where I’ve left him…

The door creaks as I push it open on it’s hinges. 

The light is dim, but already I see his figure in the cage.

He’s looking at me.

He recognizes me. 

I feel the smile curl into my lips. 

“… Koujaku.”

It comes out softly…perhaps even affectionately. 

My fingers work with the locks, and I pull the door open. 

As I work my way inside, the cuffs of my robes shifting are the only sound as they drag the ground. 

I wonder if Koujaku could be holding his breath…I’m not sure what he is thinking…but I feel that is half the fun. 

“Koujaku.”

I call his name again, and relish the confusion that paints his features. 

Surely he knows by now. He recognizes me…He knows who I am. Even through those bloodshot eyes. Even the way I am now, he knows because we’ve been so close for so long now, right?

It’s quiet for a long moment. 

“…Are you Aoba?”

I can’t help but give a small laugh. 

“That’s right, I’m Aoba.”

“…”

Koujaku goes silent again. 

“…What’s wrong?” 

I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking…he’s looking at me stiffly as if still trying to figure things out. 

“Is there something wrong with me?”

I find myself stooping down to meet his level, and I reach my hand out. 

My heart is thudding.

I touch his cheek. 

He’s so much warmer…his features are rough. 

This is the person ‘Aoba’ has cherished for so long…

“I’m the Aoba who loves Koujaku dearly. Koujaku, you love me too, right?”

I feel that’s what he would want to hear. I’m also curious…I want to know…but his expression isn’t exactly what I’m expecting.

“…What.” His voice is just as rough as his features. “What… are you saying…”

“What’s wrong?” I tilt my head. I try to keep the smile. It was a straightforward question.

I feel the ice start to enter in, even as I wait in this silence. 

It’s uncomfortable. 

Koujaku’s brow is furrowed as I watch his mind working against me. 

“Who… Are you?” he asks at last. 

“What are you saying? I’m Aoba. I’m glad we could meet again. Because I love Koujaku.”

Isn’t this what he wanted? 

“Koujaku talked a lot about the past... like about your house. When I heard that, I was really surprised but… my feelings won’t change. No matter what happened to Koujaku, I don’t mind.”

I’m trying hard now…I’m sure this is what he wanted.

“I’ll include everything because I love everything about Koujaku.”

This is what he said he wanted. 

“I’ll accept all of you.”

…If I accept him, he’ll accept me too…

“No matter what sins Koujaku is burdened with, I’ll accept it.”

Because I’m just as dark as you are…

Because even though you weren’t there…

You’re here now. 

“I won’t refuse you. Because I love you.”

“Wrong… You’re wrong…”

I’m somewhat surprised. “What is?”

“You… aren’t Aoba.”

…Didn’t I say everything right?

“Don’t give in!” -That’s what I should have said before. 

He’s silent…

“Koujaku?”

“…Who are you?”

“Like I said, I’m…”

“You’re not the Aoba I know…!”

He spits the words out at me.

It doesn’t hurt…

I won’t let him see how it hurts…

I can play this game. 

I didn’t need love. I don’t need it now. 

The pain bubbles up, and I let it out.

“Aha hahah—Ahahahaha!!”

I’m not Aoba. I’ll never be Aoba. Not to him…He doesn’t accept me.

“A~a…It’s bad after all, it’s boring.”

“…” Koujaku’s frown is enough to keep me going. 

A haughty laugh escapes me, and I can’t help but enjoy myself. This is the role I was meant to play…I wasn’t trying to gain his trust…I don’t need affection. I’m the one who will tear him down…

“I thought you would give in if I threw the words you wanted to hear at you but…Like I thought you aren’t that much of an idiot, huh.”

“You…” 

I’m sure he hates me. I can’t care…I’ll sort him out.

“What you’re saying is half right and half wrong. I’m really Aoba, but…I’m not the Aoba you know.”

He seems startled to hear this. I can’t help but soak in his distress…

“That’s right… To make it easier to understand, it’s like I’m another Aoba. I’ve always been with the Aoba you know, I’ve always been inside this body.” 

I wonder if he’ll get it…

”Up until now the Aoba you knew was out in the open, but he disappeared. That’s why I came out.”

“Disappeared…?” Koujaku seems worried.

“That’s right, he disappeared. What did you think?” 

I really love how torn up he seems about this…it’s almost worth having tried to fool him before.

“It’s because your scrap failed. Scrap failed and broke you, and Aoba blamed and blamed and blamed himself, and sunk into an abyss…”

“No…” he doesn’t want to believe this…but he doesn’t even know the half of it…he doesn’t realize how similar we really are now…

“In reality, the times you aren’t conscious gets longer and longer. Don’t you feel like someone is eating you? Even now you can only sometimes open your eyes, and you don’t remember the last time you opened your eyes, isn’t that right?”

He knows I’m right. His silence is proof of that. 

“It’s already too late.”

He’s missed his chance. I’m not interested in trying to keep this Koujaku.

He sees me as a monster. 

I’ll accept him when he accepts me.

When he’s a monster too…

I already see him straining against it…

All I have to do is push a little further…

“Aoba hasn’t completely disappeared.” I tell him. “He is breathing faintly deep in this heart.” I place a hand fondly over my chest. It’s almost as though I can feel the other me watching restlessly…but he’s too weak now to do anything to stop me.

“…Aaa, when he realized I was talking to you he acted frantic, like he wanted to do something.”

I’m smiling now. It’s a dark, sinister grin. The kind that suits me best…

I draw near to Koujaku as this monster I’ve become. 

“Unfortunately, I won’t let you come out again. I’m going to pulverize and erase you.”

His expression is priceless. Aoba, too, is squirming. I feel him hating this…

“It’s a reward for looking after me up until now. In your hopelessness and despair, while crying, just disappear. There isn’t really a problem, is there? Because I, too, am Aoba.”

Why would I try for any better feeling than this? Torn somewhere between wanting to be accepted and no longer caring…I’m tired of this boring conversation. I’m tired of this sad little relationship. 

I’ll tear it apart.

The glee of that thought shakes through me. 

“Ahahahahhaaha!!!”

I’ll destroy him. Destroy him. Shatter. Fall apart—

“Ku…!” I see the pain etch his features. 

Just disappear—

I don’t need you. 

“Aoba!!”

He’s calling out…

“Aoba…!!”

“Ahahahha!!”

He’s not calling me.

“Aoba, can you hear me…!? Aoba!”

“It’s useless.”

I take hold of his chin. My hands are so much colder in contrast to his skin, but that doesn’t matter now. I jerk his face up to look at me. 

I hope he can see how much I hate him.

I want him to know…how it feels to be alone. How it is to be confined. How it is to be forgotten. 

I want him to know…I want him to understand…and then I want him to disappear…

It’s with these thoughts that I tell him…

“This world has become extremely boring, Koujaku…Everything is done as Toue says. There is no front or back, no ups and downs. It’s slowly becoming a plain world. That’s why the most fun thing for me right now is playing with you.”

His eyes waveringly look into mine, because I give him no chance to look away. 

“I want to enjoy watching you fall apart. It’s only a little more until you’re completely broken. I will come here like this every day to play with you.”

Because I will love him. I will accept him— but only when he’s as broken as I am. 

“I’m looking forward to when the Aoba you know is completely confined.”

I stand, my laughter feeling wretched yet wonderful at the same time. 

One step, then two. I separate myself from Koujaku. 

“Aoba!!”

I feel it. 

He’s crumbling. 

Madness. Despair.

That’s right…become like me.

I hear him struggling against his chains. 

“…”

Just outside the iron bars, I turn back.

I don’t…want Koujaku to suffer…

The hatred I felt melts away…and I regret.

I did this.

I messed up. 

“…Koujaku…”

I did this to him. 

“I’m sorry…”

He sees me…

“Aoba!!”

But it’s too late.

Before I know it, I’m up the stairs. 

The door locks shut behind me. 

My throat tightens as I hear him…

He’s crying. Screaming.

Koujaku is broken…

I broke him.

Like me.

—

After that, Koujaku’s reason disappeared completely.

It seemed like Koujaku pursued the “Aoba” he knew until the end, but his wish didn’t come true.

Well, that’s to be expected.

I will definitely never let “Aoba” rise to the surface again.

But it’s strange.

I thought I gave Koujaku the words that he had been wishing for.

No, he definitely wished for it.

That Aoba would accept all of him.

The fact that no matter what happened, Aoba would not decide to hate Koujaku.

I told him all that, but Koujaku wouldn’t accept that I was ‘Aoba.’

I thought that that was the Aoba that Koujaku wished for but… was I wrong?

The words I told Koujaku were not lies or anything.

Actually, the me right now really thinks of Koujaku as dear.

The Koujaku who has been released from everything and who has become subject to nothing but naked instinct. 

… Well, whatever Koujaku is thinking now doesn’t have any relevance anymore.

It doesn’t matter.

Today, too, I’m going to my beloved Koujaku’s place to play.

To love his beautiful appearance and to spoil him. 

…  
   
…….

“…Koujaku.”

**Author's Note:**

> This work is part of the BE: Aftermath series by dramaticaldesire, following Aoba's character development post Koujaku's bad ending story. Inspiration from this fic came from the original translations of DMMd re:connect by dramatical-rhyme. Conversations are taken directly from the translations with the view switched from Koujaku to Aoba's side of the story. I hope you enjoyed my take on this story, and thank you for reading!
> 
> -
> 
> Visit and interact with me on tumblr!   
> http://dramaticaldesire.tumblr.com


End file.
